Five years ago I would definitely hit you if you did something that irritated me. Some where along the way to here, I changed. Somehow, I’ve stopped caring.
I used to get angry really easily, but I don’t remember the last time I got really angry at someone like I use to. In the past year, I’d be irritated at someone, but I wouldn’t have that urge to slap anyone. =) That’s probably a good sign for some people. I still imagine people’s kidneys exploding if I really don’t like them though.
I’ve learned something really important since 5 years ago. Emotions hurt. A lot. So the most basic reaction is to just forget it. If other people aren’t going to care about it, I’m not going to worry about it either. It’s not in my best interest to care, so I’m not going to.
Maybe I’ve become more selfish, but I’ve spent so much time waiting around for other people and giving them my time for nothing in return, it’s about time I become selfish. Everyone’s always saying I’m a really lucky person. I’ve got a family, a home, a decent life. I’m extremely thankful for everything, but being happy sometimes is about doing what you want. Living everyday trying to please others doesn’t make me happy. What matters when I die is whether I was happy. It doesn’t matter how pleased anyone else is at the time, because it’s my life. I was only given this one life. I’m going to live it the only way I can.
That’s probably what my grandmother’s problem is. She just cares too much. She can’t just forget it. I’m glad I’m learning about this now, rather than become my grandmother in the future.