Why is it that I feel like I have no time when, actually, I have so much of it? Lately, I’ve been really tired. I prioritize and write out hour by hour schedules for myself. I even make free time! Yet, it seems that I’m always busy and working. I think it’s because I just have a list of all the things I need to do and it keeps going and going. During my free time, I’m still thinking of what I need to do next. It’s endless.
It’s possible that making schedules is really what’s holding me down, but I really need to do this stuff. I’d feel really out of it without a set plan. Even though I say this, I’ve actually gotten much better than I use to be. When I was in middle and high school, I’d set such a schedule, that if something went wrong, I’d start to panic and stress. I had a friend who would say they were going to show up at 6pm, but wouldn’t show until 2-3 hours later. Because of this person, I’ve really chilled out about stuff like this. Sometimes it’s okay to diverge from the plan, and be a little more spontaneous. As long as what needs to be done gets done, where’s the harm, right?
When traveling people like to make itineraries. There are certain sites you want to see and certain things you want to do when you’re away. This actually adds probably more stress to your plans, because you have to get to next spot at that time. It’s best to just pick a few locations and decide what you want to see first. You have to be okay with not being able to see everything.
Still, I try to stick with my set schedule, because it gives me some sort of meaning and structure. Also, there are a lot of things I want to do, but don’t necessary need to do. Priorities aren’t always as clear as they should be. This also creates some sort of annoyance for me. I’m really greedy. I want a lot, and even though I know I don’t need it, I still go after it.
Another reason I’ve been so tired is because I take everything I do really seriously. No half-assing, bullshitting, or eh-meh-uh’s. If I’m going to do something, then I’m going to take it through to the end. Full capacity. Since I have more to do this semester, I’m at full capacity a lot, so I tire more easily.
Sleeping is also a problem. I keep thinking of what I need to do tomorrow, that I can’t fall asleep for hours. =/
For now there’s nothing I can do expect to continue to give it my all. 100%! -Determined face- (and maybe some shopping and food therapy when all this work is done with and under control, ha ha ha….)